Martha Shepardson-Killam, our Head of School, had written an email to the girls asking them if they would be willing to make a 20-minute-long presentation at the April Trustees meeting, with about 10 minutes afterwards for Q & A. The girls were composing an email accepting the offer, and very quickly brainstormed ideas like doing a PowerPoint, reading their original writing, and making a video of their typical day. Then the most innocent of questions caused an uproar. "How shall we end the letter?" I asked them, and when one girl said "I suppose 'the middle school girls,'" the room erupted. As it turns out, many of them had been upset for quite some time about a few key points where they felt we were treating them like babies, and the phrase "middle school" had come to symbolize that frustration for a good sized group of them.
As we focused in on a discussion, four key issues arose, mostly around terminology. One, the use of the word "cubbies" to refer to the area where they keep their stuff. Two, the use of the word "recess" for the 20-minute break they have daily. Three, the use of the word "Pals" to refer to the program where they are paired with an upper school girl for periodic activities. Four, the use of the word "middle" as in "middle school." There were easy fixes for three of the issues, which we worked out in a joint advisory meeting with both groups. We agreed to use the term "locker room" and "break" and to reprint the schedule. No one could come up with an alternative to the name "Pals," so they refocused their energy on looking for more opportunities to do things with their Pals, and since then we have been able to schedule the next activity, a dinner for them on the evening of October 7.
The discussion on the term "middle school" was a little more complicated, because after all we are, by design, a middle school. I shared some educational history with them, where the term "junior high" came from and how the middle school movement got started. They acknowledged that they appreciated the way they were being taught, and really just didn't want the term "middle school" thrown in their faces at every opportunity. I told them how much I love working with middle schools in general and them in particular, and that if I use the term "middle school" all the time it actually comes from that love. We also told them (which most of them didn't know) that we do use the term "upper school" quite often for grades 9-12. In the end, we all agreed to keep using the term "middle school" but to try to cut down on the frequency of its usage.
When I wrote up the minutes for this advisory meeting, I added the note "It was good to hear your voices speaking out, expressing your different opinions on these different issues." My colleague Rebecca, the middle school coordinator, added "I was so glad to have a chance to join your advisory discussion on Friday. I can't tell you how often I brag about the ten of you (and Bill and Katherine) to the other teachers and students. Let's continue to make all our discussions so productive." Parents who have heard about the discussion are pleased that the girls spoke up, pleased that they were listened to, and pleased that the conversation was handled in such a respectful way by everybody involved.
By the way, the class never did decide how to sign that email to the Head of School, so I made the executive decision that evening to sign all of their names to it. The power of this group comes from the collective wisdom, experience, thoughts and talents of each of the ten girls, and hopefully this kind of group signature reflects that. Next time we write a collective email, I'll find out for sure what the girls think about that.